Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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