conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Randomize
