I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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