I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Who put my cat in the fridge?
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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