Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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