You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
