We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
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