i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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