some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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