Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
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