You made me cry and you don't even care
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
