This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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