I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
