He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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