Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
