just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
When are your genitals available?
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
