My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Randomize
