Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Those nachos came to me in a dream
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
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