Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
