i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Who died my cat blue again?
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
