I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
When did we convert life to cartoon?
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Randomize
