Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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