And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
