Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
