worst night to have a conscience
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
