I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
and she was petting her beer can
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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