Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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