is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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