Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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