I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
