I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Randomize
