i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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