apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
