i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Randomize
