you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
