I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
