How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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