actually, I'm a sock model
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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