Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Randomize