I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Randomize
