I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
