how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
