Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Randomize
