I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
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