I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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