My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Randomize
