dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
