as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
