My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Randomize
