My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
