He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
