Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Randomize
