YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize