just tell him i said nine months
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
