High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Randomize
