I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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