12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Randomize