I got chris browned last night
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
