That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
